So I've got my head around the fact that I'm pregnant, that bit was quite quick, although the bump does sometimes still take me by surprise. However, after a recent Yogabellies session, when our teacher Nicki asked "what thoughts or worries do you have around becoming a mum?" I suddenly realised I hadn't yet processed that! Wait, what!? Me, a mum, a mother, a mamma?
So now time to think about this, I understand that for the next six months to a year I'll be a milk machine and tired that bit I've comes to terms with - I know I'll struggle at times and amaze myself at others, but then after that.... When our little Pickle becomes someone that will be moulded by us, by what I do and how we raise them? What sort of a mum will I be and how will I know what to do?
I'm a lucky one, I have an amazing mum, I know a lot of people will say that - which is good! I can't remember us not getting on, I know we've had our little arguments and a few raised words but it's never been unfriendly. I've always respected her and looked up to her. I can't remember how she did it or if I ever truly tested her - I've been told I was a good child - but I know that she has always been there for me and supported me. They even supported (and funded) my array of extra curricular activities: ballet, modern, tap, jazz, figure ice skating, singing, drums, guitar, piano lessons, drama club, hockey and track competitions for county! Gosh that is a ridiculous list, it wasn't all at once though! I hope Pickle doesn’t want to do all these!
Now as an adult, I consider my mum a friend, not only can she party harder than I can (I'm referring to pre-pregnancy) but she is that friend I can always turn to, as my mum and my friend, she is often my go to girl!
I guess she got some of that from her mum, my Gardy (name made up by me, moving on...) who was also supportive and funny, having a firm but fair way about her.
This photo is of my parents and grandparents (mum's side) bringing me home from the hospital, we shall be recreating this photo when we bring Pickle home. I miss my grandparents so much and wish they could meet what would be their first great grandchild. Pickle's four grandparents have a lot to live up to, but I know they'll surpass all expectations.
I guess I just have to do what I think it right as a new mum, Robbie and I are a team and we are on the same wavelength in terms of most things. We have the same views on the initial stages of raising and keeping a tiny human alive, so I see that continuing to Pickle becoming a toddler and beyond. Having a great network of amazing mums in the friends around me and those going through the same things we be a great help.
It's such a big job - being a mum - but I have the best support around me, an unconditional love for this bump and am willing and open to all advise, send it my way.
I'm a happily married 30 something who has a fondness for planning and organising, an appreciation for spreadsheets, a love of all things wedding, a passion for DIY and am totally smitten with our two cats Bruce and Eddie.